The craziest things happened this year. All of them un-ex-pect-ed. 😳
In my world of checkmarks✅ and accomplishment-feel-goods, I had to sit🪑 a lot and take a good look at my life.
Why am I here? Seems kinda trite, right? A question of that magnitude probably shouldn’t be answered on the heels of a parent’s demise⚰️, nor on the outskirts of a Pandemic🦠, nor when one hasn’t slept well in weeks🥱. However, there I was, thank you, 2021, asking anyway. Because.
What I discovered was more than I bargained for.
I bet if you stopped to do the same, you might get more than you expected, too. (Heck, if you’ve already done it? Props. Totes high-fives. I’m proud of you. Because it sucks💔.)
No no no, I’m not bemoaning the beauty that comes out of our deep wonderings.
I’m just saying sometimes the feelings surrounding these “great moments” can get as tall as a tidal wave🌊. Washing us to utter oblivion until we’ve had a chance to splutter, cough up the water, gain our ‘north’ and ‘south’, and find out if our boots stayed on while we were drowning.
Yeah.
These… EMOTION… things🙄.
Deep throes of pain and joy and mixed-up-confusion-ness😭.
I’d like to call them my Inopportune Moments.
Because inside these emotional throbs a.k.a. Inopportune Moments, my most colorful me💢 came out.
Maybe you can relate?
Here we are, answering some of the deep prickle🌵 questions that give us a paradigm shift and turns🧭 our lives to head in the meaningful direction the Great Creator intended for us, and what are we doing?
- Snapping at the Spouse😡
- Crying over not being able to locate shoes
- Getting rage-angry🤬 at the car we can’t pass
- Leaving the house and bills to rot because CAN’T😵
- Forgetting why it was important to fix hair
- Grieving some obscure willy-nilly past event that we forgot hurt but are suddenly unable to stop thinking about😨
Inopportune Moments.
Where the blackness that still plagues my heart🖤 shows through.
Insecurities that fight the epiphany—fight the light, fight the freedom of my soul—pop up out of my heart terrain like daisies🌼.
2021 has been this sort of fight for me. (Yeah, there are always others. But it’s easiest to blog the pain-points that are starting to get better, right?)
The good news is I’m beginning to use new weapons against these Inopportune Moments (of being oh so human)… See my compiled-quicklike list below of said weaponry⚔️:
Weapon 1: Find the Joyful (if ye can🎵)
Point: Recall you’re working towards EPIC answers. When you get past this emotional spazz-out, what will you have? EPIC answers of deep ponderings. So stay the course and be glad. Ha ha. (You have to laugh or you’ll cry.😁)
Weapon 2: Pray a lot🙏 (what you did before ain’t enough)
Point: The best help is finding the presence of the Great Creator. When I feel emotions mounting into something bigger than an anthill, I stick my butt in my favorite big chair and start praying (also could read “talking to God”). I tell Him exactly what I’m feeling, tell Him how I need His help to not lose it, and ask for more peace🕊, grace, and patience. When I am most sincere, this action helps me breathe, and then God takes care of my attitude and hurts💙 in a way I can’t really explain here. I’m pretty sure He’d do it for you, too.
Weapon 3: Go back quickly & apologize (fool)
Point: Swallow the pride and say “I’m sorry. Please forgive me.” So this is my weapon after I’ve had an Inopportune Moment when I recall that I can be a jerk and hurt peoples’ feelings🤦🏻♀️. As soon as I see I’ve misstepped, misspoke, or mislead, I try to drop my pride and apologize with all my guts to the offended and to the Great Creator🙏. I know I can act like a fool. The only thing I can do is own the moment and not make it worse.
Weapon 4: Outsource pain (it’s toxic to hold for long)
Point: Don’t be a pain lake. Be like a river: let the pain out🐊. Expressing pain before it builds into a blowup sometimes means looking “breakdown-ish”, and sometimes means looking “lazy”, but here’s the point: do something to keep the pain flowing out and not building up🧱 on the inside. For me, it means journaling📝 like mad, sitting before God and others weeping😭 (if I can help it I try to keep it to just Him and I), arting out anger or sorrow on a canvas🎨, or writing something new and angsty💻.
So.
This’s my current battle strat.
It works, for now.
I’m not sure why I threw that in this post.
Maybe because I dislike posts that don’t give actionable somethings to me when I read😅.
Yeah.
That’s prolly it.
You’re welcome.
So, to recap.
No, I’m not going to tell you about how my “Why am I here?” wonderings turned out in this, nor all the other great stuff I pondered this year about life🌱, the afterlife👼, death☠️, probable relationship boundaries that are inherent❎ or anything else. But I am offering my strat for the EMOTIONS🎭 that come surrounding all these… ponderings.
You might look and check, because if your EMOTIONS are seemingly attacking🤺you, it just might be that one of these epiphany moments is occurring in your life and making itself known.
You’re not going down. Not going to drown🐋.
Get a strat. Keep to it.
Keep going.
Inopportune Moments make us human together🤷🏻♀️🤷🏿🤷🏽♂️.
Well, keep it real.
And remember, the Creator of the Universe wants to know you♥️, and wants you to know Him through the Messiah…
(So you don’t have to Google it, I mean Jesus. Okay? Okay.)
Keviana Elliot 